Be brave. Okay Here goes

The AKP Retreat made an Impression. Now this retreat was certainly jam-packed with great education (I’m still deciphering my notes) and an experience worth fawning over, but what made the greatest impression on me was something simple but truly empowering:

I was never alone! Let me say that again because it feels wonderful. I was never alone!

 Now as an introvert my natural response to so much socializing would be to run and hide and there were moments I really felt like doing so! It’s crucial to understand that this instinct wasn’t what I needed at the time. A stretch out of my comfort zone was coming fast.

 I’ve tried seeking community in various ways albeit “safe” ways. Ways that don’t put me out there too much. Ways that let me hide while thinking I am still “trying.” Lies.

Truth was I needed community and without it I was lost. With these 30 other ladies I found it, and it was scary and unknown. I honestly didn’t know what to do with it. I’ve had friendships before in high school and college but ever since entering this “real world,” those friendships have dwindled. And it’s not any fault of their own it’s just life running it’s course and distance. Causing a major phase of loneliness and frustration

Now here’s that Amazing Moment that I just didn’t see coming! I may not have known what to do with everything I experienced this weekend, but Jesus did. He knew what was on my heart (he always does) and he was about to answer my prayer in the most unexpected way imaginable

This my friends, is called a “God Moment.”

Ashton calls them cry circles and their magic is still a mystery to me I found myself sharing personal feelings. You know the kind that you bury inside because you don’t want to deal with them/ don’t have a solution for. The feeling afterwards was Amazing! He basically pushed me out of my own way and what followed was this beautiful feeling of belonging. I learned that I am not meant to do this alone. Honestly I never was… I just needed a firm push to remember that! 

God works in mysterious ways that is for sure, and in the process He taught me something very important about myself that I think will lead to me approaching my business and relationships a little differently.

I value community more than I ever valued success

And I want to build a community and have success follow that. I want friends that will be happy to see me succeed AND that I will be happy to see succeed as well. “Friends that value my talent and my personality. I want relationships. And I will be pursuing them! It’s funny how it took me so long to figure this out.